A Prayer I Thought You Might Like

hands-held-up-in-prayer

#prayer

#faith

Dear GOD,

I feel in my heart a void. A deep dark emptyness that, it seems no matter what I do or try, just stays empty. I am beginning to realize that I need you in my life. I realize that you are the only one who can fill that void and help me to regain the light in my life. I now believe with all my heart, that you died and rose again, just so I could spend eternity at your side in paradise. I accept, with great thanks, your gift of forgiveness. I ask now that you would please come into my life. And that you would help me begin a new relationship with you. That with you and your word by my side, my life may have a new meaning. Into your hands oh Lord, I place my life. May your will be done over mine, until an eternity has passed, and beyond. Thank you oh GOD, for loving me.

In Jesus Name I pray, Amen.

Those That Tend To Give Excuses, Are Those That Tend To Fail

by Raion Seishin

Ceo and Master Life Coach of Life Affirming Solutions

I’ve been thinking of my many clients this year – my wonderful, wacky, dedicated, and resilient clients who’ve made fantastic change in their lives and careers.  It’s been an eye-opening and heartwarming experience to watch their lives unfolding in astounding ways.  I’ve thought long and hard about what makes these individuals able to bring about dramatic change, and why others don’t or won’t.

People who are able to make life change have a sufficient dose of clarity, confidence, courage and commitment.  Those four ingredients can make all the difference between a miserable life and a brilliant one.  Folks almost never start out with all of these assets, but their commitment to changing what hurts and limits them urges them into a flowing river of change that brings more clarity, which in turn gets them in touch with their worthiness and confidence, which then gives them access to more courage to create life as they want it.  Can everyone do this? Yes, everyone CAN, but only a few WILL.

Why won’t thousands of unhappy and unfulfilled people create life in the image of their dreams and visions?

Because they make excuses – millions and millions of excuses (both conscious and subconscious) that keep them from believing they are worthy of an amazing life or trusting they have what it takes to create it.

This year has brought with it vast possibilities and I’d like to share what I’ve seen are the 8 most damaging excuses people make – excuses, faulty reasoning and destructive myths that keep people down, and make their lives smaller, less joyful and rewarding than they ever need to be.

The 8 Most Damaging Excuses People Make are:

1.  I don’t have the money to do this

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How people respond to the idea of getting outside help (coaching, etc.) acts as a metaphor for how they deal with their problems and their lives.  I can’t tell you how many hundreds of people reached out to me this year desperate for assistance, asking me for free help, and claiming they don’t have any money to spend on getting the help they need, though they realize that outside help is exactly what is necessary now.

I know this will inflame some readers, but here’s the reality – if you believe there’s no way for you to generate even $250 – if you can’t think of any way to be of service to someone else that would generate more income for you, then you’re stuck in the biggest excuse of all – that money is the problem and the root of scarcity in your life.

But that’s completely incorrect.  What’s lacking is your understanding of your vast capabilities, talents and gifts, and how you can be of service to others and the world.  No matter who you are and what your life experiences and history have been, you have something important to offer that others need, and will pay you well for.

If money has been the key reason why you won’t get help or make life or career change, let it go, and understand that the more you empower yourself to take control, the more you’ll access your ability to be of service and make more money.  Don’t play the victim anymore.  (If money is a recurring problem for you, read the groundbreaking book The Energy of Money, by Maria Nemeth).

2.  I’m not ready to do the work required to change.

Hundreds of unhappy and unfulfilled people admitted  to me this year, “ I’m just not ready to make change. “ Here’s a stark reality folks – no one is really ready to make change. We resist change fiercely. We change because what we have created in our lives has become intolerable and we finally realize there’s no way to overcome it except moving through and beyond it, and that takes energy and courage.

As we close on 2015, I ask you this – can you let go of your belief that you’re not ready?  Can you simply accept that if you want something different in your life, there is no better time than now to bring that into being, despite how “ready” you feel?

3.  I’m afraid of what I don’t know.

Welcome to being human.  We’ve all heard the expression “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t.“ But in truth, this is just another excuse for staying stuck.  The only way to have an exciting and enriching life is to stretch way out of your comfort zone, and to take on challenges that make you feel afraid of failure and embarrassment.  Once you make facing your demons a common occurrence in your life, you’ll realize that “the devil’ is simply your ego fearing its demise. In other words, you are deathly afraid of making mistakes, walking through the unknown, and appearing (to yourself and others) as “less than.” But that’s what life is – unknown, uncontrolled, and unlimited.  Go for it – find the one area that would excite you the most and stretch into the unknown.

4.   What if it doesn’t work out?

I hear this excuse weekly – “What if this big change I’m trying doesn’t work out?” Well, then you’ll deal with it, and you’ll become stronger, more confident and more capable than you were before you tried this new direction.  This happened to me – after my 18-year corporate stint and before I launched my Coaching and Training practice. I became a marriage and family therapist.  After serving as a therapist for 5 years, I faced the reality that I simply didn’t enjoy or feel well-suited to the professional identity of a therapist.  Some would say that “it didn’t work out.” But I believe it did – I use every single tool and strategy that I learned in my therapy training in my coaching, writing, speaking and training work.  In the end, it did work out – I just needed to find the right avenue in which to apply the powerful and transformational tools that therapy training offered.

5.  What would people say if I did this?

Let’s face it – many people in this world are judgmental, negative, naysaying and critical, and don’t believe in the power of your (or their) abilities.  It’s a fact.  But are you going to let this type of thinking keep you from changing what needs to be revised in your life?  It’s a group mentality that says we have to keep doing in life what makes us miserable.  Embrace a more individualistic and self-reliant view.  Trust in yourself, and belkieve that you have the right and the worthiness to live your life as you dream it. Don’t let the naysayers hold you back.

6.  My family needs me to keep doing this.

No, they don’t.  Your family needs you to be ONE thing and one thing only – all that you are meant to be in this world, nothing less.  You didn’t come to this planet at this time simply to pay your mortgage.  Of course, you have financial obligations that must be fulfilled.  But while doing that, always plant the seeds for your future self, for the self that wants to grow, and be bigger and better and in service to the world in ways that give form to your highest and best life intentions.  Families demand a lot, but don’t kid yourself that your being a great family person, parent or provider has to mean that you give up on yourself as a highly contributive and fulfilled individual in this world.

7.  I don’t really believe it’s going to work out.

People who are chronically miserable and underdeveloped often have at their core a faulty belief that no matter what they really want, it’s not going to work out.  If you have this belief, look at your childhood, and the messages you learned growing up with the family you were given.  Understand that the belief that it won’t work out came from someone or something else outside of you.  We’re not born believing that the universe is unfriendly and uncaring.  We learn that.  What you want is most certainly possible for you, but not if you don’t believe it is.

8.  This is just me – I can’t change it.

Anything you think and feel can be changed.  You are NOT your thoughts. You are separate from your thoughts and emotions. But you must become aware of your thoughts and emotions before you can be free of their hold on you. I’ve personally witnessed the transformation of hundreds of people’s lives once they realize they can change what they think and feel.  (And I’m a living example of ) how we can overcome extremely limiting beliefs and experiences to reach a much more joyful way of life).  If you’re chronically unhappy and dissatisfied, this isn’t “just you.”  This is a version of you that wants modification.   You don’t have to live with chronic unhappiness – get the help you need to be free of it.   (If you are suffering from a chronic depressed mood or thinking, therapeutic assistance may be of help to you.  Ask your doctor for a referral to find a therapist in your area).

How To Find Yourself In 3 Easy Steps

Monk

“Get out of your head and get into your heart. Think less, feel more.” ~Osho

When you’re on a spiritual quest in the chaotic outlying suburbs of Bangkok, and you’re having a complete and utter meltdown about your ability to face your inner demons and greatest life fears, where should you turn?

Well, I feel well qualified to answer this question, having been in that exact situation!

Where I turned was a peaceful little Buddhist temple, and more specifically a gentle and elderly monk named Yut.

Don’t be deceived by the “gentle and elderly” description, however, for Yut was also direct and unforgiving in the way he challenged my perspectives and answered questions from my seeking, fearful self.

Surprisingly he was also quite humorous and down-to-earth, which made for a delightfully game changing afternoon that helped to interrupt my meltdown, supporting my breakdown to become a breakthrough.

It was mid-way through my three month sabbatical in Thailand. The preceding six weeks in the paradise island of Koh Samui had been blissful to say the least, then arriving in outlying Bangkok had been quite a shock to the system.

I had followed my own gut instinct and divine guidance to be there, despite my fear of being alone in large cities, particularly ones where I don’t speak the language.

I was at a point in my life where I had to shake things up. I was standing on the precipice of major change, of following my heart and leaving my decade long corporate career back home, where at the time I was National Manager of a recruitment firm.

I had spent 32 years honing my ability to be what I thought others wanted me to be—a “success.” The only problem was that my definition of success was warped.

I thought success and my worthiness was measured by the big job, the fancy house, the material objects. This was, of course, all nonsense that I had created in my head—a story I had bought into, fed by my addiction for perfectionism and a desperate need for security and validation.

I was ready to break out of the box I’d been living in, and this trip was helping me to see the world, life, and myself in new light.

It seems that when you step up in life to invite change, life has a way of guiding you to exactly where you need to be, with whom you need to be with, and hearing what you need to hear.

It would turn out to be perfectly synchronistic that my freak out in Bangkok led me to go in search of somewhere peaceful, which in turn took me to this Buddhist temple where I was very helpfully fed three game changing insights by Yut.

This turn of events would be another building block in one very important and transformative lesson: just be who you really are and that is more than enough.

There was some undoing to be done! In order to bewho I really was, I first had to know who I really was…

1. Meditation is a tool to know yourself.

“Meditation is a way to know your true self. All you need to know is within yourself, seeking it externally in the world will only take you so far. You need to look within.” ~Yut

This Thailand quest was the start of what would become three years of daily meditation. Only 5−10 minutes per day, which connected me with my intuition and the real me. Once I connected, I was able to live from that guidance, using it as my number one navigation tool.

2. Knowing yourself opens the way to limitless possibilities.

“As we become more enlightened, as we know ourselves more, truly anything is possible. When you connect to your true self, then life is limitless and anything you can possibly imagine can be your reality.” ~Yut

I was delighted to hear this! I had incorrectly expected a Buddhist monk would tell me all about denial of one’s longings and living a meager life in solitude and silence.

I had big, audacious dreams for my life—to escape the rat race, to be a writer and coach, and to pursue my passion for energy healing, preferably while traveling the world!

Hearing that meditation was a path to my true self, and connecting to my true self was a path to enlightenment, which in turn opens up limitless possibilities for me, well, I was ready to get my meditation groove on!

3. Face your inner demons; own your responsibility.

“While we are all connected, we must face our own challenges alone.” ~Yut

While I believe deeply that our family and friend support networks are fundamental to thriving in life, the truth is that when we’re talking about inner demons, fears, blocks, and limiting beliefs, we have to face up to those ourselves.

It’s a very personal journey to honestly look into the dark crevices inside yourself and truly own the way you feel, the way you behave, and see what is blocking your own thriving.

Taking responsibility for how we are being and what we are doing is something that requires great courage.

Nearly in tears when I first arrived at the temple, fearful of my time alone in Bangkok and facing up to what massive changes I needed to make in my life, the message of having to face my challenges alone actually empowered me.

It woke me up and made me realize that no one else could set me free from my limiting beliefs about what validated me as a person and the blocks I had about risking my security in pursuit of a more meaningful life.

I had to do this myself. I had to build a relationship with the true me and let her emerge, just as we are all called to do.

Raion Seishin is a Master Life Coach, and Spiritual Consultant to Celebrities, he is currently accepting new clients.

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Smile, Just Because

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 “A smile is happiness you’ll find right under your nose.” ~Tom Wilson

I smile a lot.

In fact, yesterday I smiled eighty-seven times (I counted).

These aren’t fake smiles. They’re big, toothy, open-mouthed grins. And they’ve become a regular feature of my everyday life because I’ve been overcome with an immense happiness.

Everything I see, touch, breathe, and taste brings me delight.

It’s totally spontaneous and outrageously fun, and I want to share with you how it’s done.

What I Smile At

It could be the subtle texture of construction grating.

It could be the way a flower pops out of the background at an unforeseen moment.

It could be the way the sunlight glints off the window in the early morning.

But the thing that’s powering all these smiles is very simple.

Gratitude.

Most people smile when they get something.

We all like to smile when we receive a compliment, a surprise visit from a friend, or a big paycheck.

In other words, we’re happy when we receive a direct benefit.

But the way I see it, I’m the direct benefiter of everything happening around me.

The caw of a crow, the taste of a mandarin orange, the sound of a truck passing.

All of these things have made me smile today. I receive all of these things and am glad because of them.

So how can you smile more?

It’s simple really.

Be grateful for everything in your life.

It’s amazing what positive effects we experience once we begin to say, “Thank you!” for everything.

Thanks for the gift of life. Thanks for a delicious meal. Thanks for the smile of a stranger.

But the weird (and powerful) change I invite you to make is this:

Give thanks for even the seemingly negative things that come into your life.

Illness, pain, and loss are some of the most powerful teachers we have available. They reflect back to us the ways in which we need to grow. They show us the power that’s within us.

And they show us that life is incredibly precious.

For a few years I was in a really dark place. No home, no friends, no money. I slept outdoors in unfamiliar towns. I ate food stolen from dumpsters. I went days without talking to a single soul.

There were frigid nights when I would sleep in a construction site. I would curl up in the cab of an unlocked bulldozer because my body heat could warm the tiny compartment just enough to sleep a few hours before the crew came in at 6AM.

I was low.

But I appreciate this experience because it gave me fortitude to live anywhere. I no longer worry that I’ll be able to survive without food or shelter, because in tough situations, you get creative. You get resourceful. And you stop being afraid to ask for help.

Pay attention to the smallest details.

Right now I’m staring into the red of my ceramic coffee cup and just smiling my ears off. It’s too perfect not to.

But the coffee cup isn’t really just red.

As I look closer, I see infinite shades glancing off the glaze.

It’s reflecting the candy-cane stripes on a packet of sugar lying in the dish.

It’s reflecting a page of notes I’ve got in front of me.

And it’s following all the laws of light and shading, showing its brightest fire-truck vermillion face to the sun on one side, and a shadowy, murky maroon on the other.

Truly a glorious thing.

These details of experience are accessible to us everywhere, and they show us that no two things are alike.

Even things that we find offensive are opportunities for thankfulness once we begin to appreciate their details.

Plastic bottles on the street or decaying fruit, for example.

They all contain such marvellous detail that when you stop and pay attention, you can’t help but smile in thanks.

Write down your blessings.

Thousands of great things happen to us every day but we only seem to remember a few, while we remember most of the dull, unfortunate, or painful things that happen to us.

That’s not our fault; it’s just the way our brains are wired.

But we can overcome it.

That’s why it can be helpful to keep a notebook to jot down all the great things that happen to you daily.

Reflect on it when you’re feeling down.You’ll notice that even on your lowest days, things happened that touched you, that blessed you.

Don’t forget them!

Look at what is, not what isn’t.

Every time I look around, I think, “Wow, I’ve got a great life.”

I don’t have a lot. And yet, I live the happiest life imaginable because I’m looking at what is, not whatisn’t.

Oftentimes we get caught up in worries about the future, giving substance to our negative thoughts.

We think, “If only I had a bit more money to pay the bills.”

“If only I didn’t have to worry about these aches and pains.”

“If only I had a little more time to spend with my family.”

Life isn’t the fantasies you have in your head—it’s what’s happening right now! All the great things around you are yours.

The sunshine hitting your face.

The smile of your kids and grandkids.

The exhilaration of going for a run and feeling your blood rush about in your marvellous arms and legs.

That’s all for you. And it makes me smile.

What made you smile today?

Raion Seishin is a Master Life Coach and Spiritual Practitioner. He currently is accepting new patients.

Stop With The Excuses!!!!

We all  can find reasons or excuses of things to keep us from doing what we need to do. Prime example…just as I was moving into this first point I thought, “I don’t have my computer accessible to type, so maybe I should wait until later.” Procrastination had just reared its head…

I’d been sitting on my plane over three hours for what was supposed to be a one hour flight. Our departure was delayed due to bad weather at our destination. Thirty minutes later, you heard the captain’s voice come over the intercom. From the moment he started speaking, you could hear from the tone of his voice that it wasn’t going to be good news. Bad weather was now rolling into our area and we were going to be delayed for at least another 45 minutes. You couldn’t help but hear all the groans from everyone on the plane.

An hour and a half later, when it was finally time for us to take off, I was shutting my computer down when I noticed I was in the red with only 11% on my battery. I would have no choice, I’d be writing for the remainder of this flight.

As I sat in my seat, waiting to take off, I took out my notebook and started to jot down some ideas. As I wrote, I began to feel stuck! Stuck because I hadn’t done or accomplished many of the things I’d wanted to accomplish when it comes to being productive on a daily basis. Then I thought, hey…wait a minute!!! I was supposed to be the Breakthrough Guru right?!?!? What was going on? Then I realized I wasn’t stuck, I just wasn’t moving! I hadn’t been taking action, but it looked more like procrastination! I decided to act…NOW!

I flipped to a fresh piece of paper and started to write. It felt great! I had finished writing the bullet points to getting unstuck and was moving on to writing the main body of the article when I stopped and said, “But it would be better for me to write on my computer. I can edit, I can type faster than I can write, I’d be able to save it, it would be neater, and I won’t have to transcribe it later” (as I’m doing right now) and on, and on, and on… After ALMOST entertaining that thought process, I stopped in my tracks and told myself to WRITE! NOW! Move into action…NOW!

The bottom line is, STOP MAKING EXCUSES, and just move forward into action! Conditions will probably always look better at another time. Look back on opportunities you’ve taken or lost. Were the conditions optimal? Probably not. Just remember, you have traded a day of your life for the actions you’ve chosen to take, OR NOT TO TAKE. We all have choices. So get moving! Time doesn’t wait for anyone!

Raion Seishin is an International Life Coach and Motivational Speaker. Contact him via Facebook Messenger or this blog.

How Judging Others Is Harmful

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One of the best changes I’ve made to help me be happier is learning to see judging other people as a red flag.

Now, I’m not going to pretend I don’t ever judge other people — I think it’s either a built-in method all humans have, or something we develop because of built-in methods. We all judge people, and I’m not an exception.

But I’ve gotten better at noticing when it happens. And recognizing that it’s a sign of something harmful.

The judging itself isn’t bad. It’s what the judging is a symptom of that’s harmful. I say “harmful” instead of “bad” because instead of judging I’d rather observe that it causes harm.

What underlying harmful causes/situations are indicated by my judging people? Well, here are a few:

  • I am very ignorant of what the person is going through.
  • I don’t understand the situation.
  • I have unrealistic expectations of people.
  • I think I’m superior to other people.
  • I’m not grateful.
  • I’m being self-centered.
  • I’m not being curious, but instead I close off all learning.
  • I can’t really help the situation from a place of judgment.

How That Happens

Let’s take a fake but typical example so I can show you what I mean (I’m going to bold the symptoms, so forgive the overemphasis):

I see a relative who is actively harming her health, who is overweight and diabetic and yet smokes and eats junk food all the time and does other bad things. I know she can make her health better by changing her habits. I judge her for what she’s doing, think badly of her, get frustrated with her, dismiss her because she’s not worthy of my frustration. This kind of thing happens with me and lots of other people all the time — just change the details to spouse, co-worker, kid, friend and instead of unhealthy things, they’re doing something else you don’t like.

What’s going on in this example? Well, first, I’m ignorant of what she’s going through and I don’t understand the situation. She’s been depressed because of her health problems, feeling guilty, feeling stuck, feeling scared, untrusting of herself. Because of these bad feelings, she doesn’t like to think about health, and makes herself feel better through smoking and comfort food. She’s just trying to be happy. And in fact, I do the same kinds of things all the time — I fail. I feel bad. I comfort myself. So I’m not superior, even if I think I am.

What’s more, I’m not being grateful for the great person she is, despite her health problems. She’s wonderful. By focusing on judging her, I’m not appreciating that. Instead, I’m being self-centered by focusing on how much better I am, how she’s frustrating me, how my frustration is more important than any pain she’s feeling. I’m not being curious about who she is, what she’s going through and why … instead I have made a judgment and that stops all inquiry. And from this place of judgment, I can’t helpbecause I have closed off dialog, and have written her off.

You can see how all of these things are harmful. They make me frustrated and unhappy, they harm my relationship with this lovely person, they stop communication and learning, they don’t allow me to help alleviate suffering, they close me off to what she has to offer me. Among other harms.

How to Let Go of Judging

First be aware that you’re doing it, and see it as a red flag. It’s not horrible to judge, but it’s a good sign that other things are going on that are harming you and others.

This takes practice. But there are symptoms that tell you you’re judging — if you feel angry or frustrated or dismissive of someone. If you’re complaining about someone, or gossiping about them. These are signs you’re judging. Recognize what’s going on.

After you notice the red flag, pause and be curious. Don’t get mad at yourself, but be curious:

  • Why are you judging?
  • What expectations do you have that are unrealistic?
  • What can you guess about what the other person is really going through?
  • Can you find out more? (This isn’t always realistic but sometimes you can.)
  • What about the other person can you appreciate?
  • Can you get out of your self-centeredness and put yourself in the other person’s shoes?
  • Can you imagine a time when you were going through something similar?

Once you’ve done that, ask yourself: How can you help? What does this person need? Sometimes they just need someone to listen, someone to be a friend, someone to not judge, someone to accept them. Sometimes they need more — advice, a guide, a hug.

But you can’t help them from a place of judgment. Only when you let go of the judgment that has arisen, and come to a place of acceptance and curiosity and empathy, can you really help. And incidentally, you’ll be a lot happier in the process.

Raion Seishin is an International Life Coach, Author, and Relationship Expert. Have questions? Contact him via Facebook Messenger.